My blog: Some thoughts on films

Click on the picture below to read my HorrorTalk review of Lake Placid: The Final Crapter… I mean… Chapter….

If I made a fake ’80s movie, there is no doubt it would have the best soundtrack…here’s a taster of how it’d go down (of course this only works if you listen along to the music, play along!):

Miami Horror Holidays Starts the film, giving us the fun atmosphere of a California setting where we met the unloved underdog who longs for the girl of his dreams…

Twin Shadow 5 Seconds for the inevitable motorcycle chase of the underdog and the local bully through a desert…

Tennis Marathon Where we see, through a series of random events, the underdog and dream girl spend a day together in the summer sun where she realises he is not just the geek boy she always thought he was.

Kindness That’s Alright is the fierce track for the big dance off between the underdog and the bully midway through the movie, underdog reveals his mad skillz thus winning the girl of his dreams.

Blood Orange Bad Girls is the final dance at the prom where the underdog and girl of his dreams totally smooch up. 

Yesayer O.N.E Perfect for the closing credits, all is resolved and everyone is happy. 

You would pay money to see that, right?

Digital Spy just produced this feature: “20 Movies You Never Knew Existed”. A title like that will always intrigue a cinephile like myself, and normally I wouldn’t comment but this is potentially the most pointless feature I’ve ever seen. Apart from the fact that I have indeed heard of about half of them, none of them bar TRICK ‘R TREAT are worth seeing. Surely a better idea would be, “20 Movies You Never Knew Existed…BUT SHOULD!”?? To read the original feature click here.

Recently Rue Morgue did a Top 200 Alternative Horror List which had the right idea. I thought I’d do my own 20 films you maybe never knew existed…but should! And no, they’re not all horror. Also I’m not arrogant enough to think you won’t have EVER heard of all of these, but there may be a couple. 

Rubin and Ed

Crispin Glover’s best performance.

Detention

A headache of weird.

Resolution

Proves new horror has still got lots to give.

Intermission

Insanely cool, Irish flick.

Stuart A Life Backwards 

Tom Hardy and Benedict Cumberbach- pure gold.

Nice Girls Don’t Explode

A girl sets things on fire when she gets amourous. 

Paperheart

Adorable and sweet.

All The Real Girls

A film to make your heart ache.

5150 Rue Des Ormes

A horrific thriller that is unrelenting. 

Harold’s Going Stiff

Putting new life in the Zombie genre.

Real Time

A gambler’s final hours.

The First Day of the Rest of your Life

A realistic look at a family going through changes. 

Sick Girl

Girls are Sick!

All ABout Evil

PEACHES CHRIST IS GOD.

The Station Agent

I love films about unlikely friendships

Female Trouble

As wicked as Pink Flamingos, but easier on the eyes.

City of Lost Children

Jean Pierre Juenet has a magical mind.

Once

Gorgeous and refreshing.

Lucas

Everybody loves an underdog

Chronicle 

2012’s most overlooked film.

Holy mother, that was hardcore, but in an incredibly subtle way that I wasn’t expecting. Except for those last ten minutes, they were hardly subtle. I watched the end with my hand over my mouth, I audibly gasped. That ending…I had a feeling it was going to happen the whole way through it but honestly didn’t think it would. Anyway, no spoilers…that was an excellent film.

What is it? Excision…

A disturbed and delusional high school student with aspirations of a career in medicine goes to extremes to earn the approval of her controlling mother.

Sharp, funny, disgusting, intriguing and tender.

Great supporting cast includes John Waters, Malcolm McDowell and Matthew Gray Gubler, but the lead from AnnaLynne McCord was amazing. I’ve never seen her in anything else and when I heard she was in 90210 I couldn’t believe it! However, top performance has to go to Traci Lords, this woman is a damn fine actress and needs to be in more mainstream films she has the freaking talent.

Anyway great film, stunning visuals. 

As we near the end of the excellent Toronto After Dark Film Festival I bring you my last review, this one is a film called Resolution. It took me by surprise. Check out my review for Rue Morgue here.

Check out the trailer below…it’s a lot funnier than it looks:

The Lords of Salem gave me what I like to call “The Prometheus Effect”. I’m still completely unsure of what I really thought of Rob Zombie’s latest film, and I know it will probably need a second viewing…but there’s a part of me that doesn’t want to do that either. Anyhow! Check out my jumbled thoughts on HorrorTalk here.

Next week is a busy, busy film week and that makes a happy Charlotte.

First up I should be seeing Paranormal Activity 4. Scoff all you want, I like this kind of shit. I’d rather have these each year than a man pulling his intestines through his nose a la Saw. Too many people are quick to rip on these films but it’s good cheesy fun and that’s what horror should be about sometimes, y’know? Not saying this looks that great but if there’s some decent jumps and I’ll be happy. 

Now, we’re getting to the good stuff! Next week will see the start of the Toronto After Dark Film Festival and they’re playing a film I’ve been anticipating for a while, American Mary. The Soska Twins are back and this looks creepy and intriguing, I was so glad to see it on the list of films for this year’s festival. Check out the trailer below.

The day after, Rue Morgue is presenting a night of horror with the British film, Inbred which looks gory, sick and twisted so that should be up my ally. 

More you say? Ok then, a few days after that I will be going to see the documentary My Amityville Horror, where Daniel Lutz for the first time on camera, recounts his experience of living in the Amityville house and the terror it caused his family. 

This is actually me holding back. I could have also gone to see Grabbers,the Irish monster movie, but I decided I can’t really afford that. Also, Simon Pegg’s last film, A Fantastic Fear of Everything, is playing on the last day of the festival so it depends on my work schedule for that one. All in all though, this is a DAMN fine time of year for horror and I couldn’t be happier! 

If you’re in Toronto, check out the festival listings here and get yourself a ticket…or five…

You know what looks like a bad-ass horror film fest? This year’s Abertoir Film Festival. 

I’ve just had a look through their lineup, which was announced today, and I could see myself sat down for everything they’re showing. It’s a great mix of old and new films, some super interesting looking seminars and Q&A’s. 

Some stuff that jumped out at me was their seminar “Horrible History of Italian Horror”, Todd Browning’s The Unknown with live organ accompaniment, Gavin Baddley’s talk “The Horror! The Horror?” on what makes a horror movie a horror movie and then there’s a Q&A for The Beyond and Nightbreed.

Film wise you’ll know I’m super intrigued by American Mary so that would definitely be on my list along with John Dies at the End, Sleep Tight and an interesting little film called True Love. 

They even start the festival with a screening of The Shining so you know you’re in for a treat here.

The festival runs from Tuesday 6th November to Sunday the 11th November. More info is here at their website.

2012 has been shit for horror. Really shit. Cabin in the Woods is the best so far, stunning film, utterly amazing…scary though? Not really. Everything else I’ve seen has been pretty mediocre. Tonight I’ve seen a really decent horror film and one I’d suggest you go see if you can. That film was Sinister.

Ethan Hawke plays a true crime writer embarking on a new book to restart his career. To find inspiration he moves his family out to a town where a brutal murder occurred  But he didn’t just  move to their town, he moved them into the house where they were killed. Soon weird things begin to happen and as he delves more into their murder, the more sinister things get (see what I did there??). 

Far too many films like this are let down by their final act and a poor storyline, for Sinister that is not a problem. The storyline is really strong and intriguing and has a superb ending to top it all off. Yes there are some cheap scares, but this is the season for all of that! Everyone likes a good jump now and then and this movie provides that. It is the film Insidious wanted to be, it retained its cool and creepiness even when it exposed the face of the evil…and I will say no more on it than that.

Along with all this was an insanely brilliant soundtrack that worked superbly well with the tense situations and had you on the edge of your seat.

There were some elements I wasn’t too keen on, but I don’t want to ruin anything. Overall though, this was a damn good film and considering all the regurgitated tosh we get thrown at us in this, the holiest of months, it is a refreshing change.